Bloggers & Sisters - 07/Aug/2009

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Bikers and Sisters
by John Kazlauskas

Luke with two bikes

Luke Macfarlane is a real mountain biker. The kind of biker who owns more bikes than most people do shoes. The kind of biker who is excited about spending a summer weekend doing a 120-mile roundtrip ride through the mountains. In short, the kind of biker you’d want on your team if you were participating in a relay triathlon. Which I am. (More on that later…)
Now I’m a runner because I’ve not had so much luck with bikes:

Poor baby

But Luke has been riding bikes for his entire life. Although now he spends his time at Topanga Creek Bicycles and riding in the Southern California sunshine, as a kid he’d go out regardless of the season. Cold winters didn’t bother him. He’d just push tacks through his tires so they had some traction on the snow and ice. And that was during a Canadian winter.
One Spring Break at Julliard he shipped his bike to San Francisco and boarded a plane – literally wearing his lycra biking clothes — to start a weeklong trek up California’s coast.

1967 Buick LeSabre

How the trip ended up in a 1967 LeSabre he had to buy from the side of the road and a $600 ticket from the Highway Patrol mailed to his parents in Canada is another blog for another day.
But you get the point: Luke is a biker.
Which is why we were all so excited when he agreed to be on the Brothers and Sisters team for the 2009 Malibu Triathlon in September. The show actually has 2 relay teams competing and, even though I’m a runner, I thought maybe I could try my hand at biking for the big event.
In the spirit of sportsmanship, Luke agreed to show me the ropes and teach me a thing or two by biking around the Disney Lot. In fact, almost everyone gets around this lot on a bike so it just made sense.
“You’re doing WHAT?” Marc Halsey, the other Writer’s Assistant asked.

Marc at work

“We have so much work to do! Episode 405 is being finished right now. Now is not the time!”
“Don’t worry.” I assure him. “If you need me, you know where to find me!”
Now immediately I was intimidated. Luke is the real deal. So I showed up for our lesson dressed appropriately. But I could tell by Luke’s face that I was maybe a little overdressed.

John in muscle suit

“Are you wearing a muscle suit?” Luke asked, warily.

I pause and look down: Was it THAT obvious? Embarrassed I run inside: “Just give me a second.”
More suitably dressed I was ready for the lesson to start:

John with water

“What is all that for?” Luke asks.

“Water! We’re gonna need to stay hydrated.”
Confused, Luke points out: “We’re just going around the lot—“
“SHHHH!” I cut him off. “You’ll thank me for this one day!” downing a bottle in one gulp.
As Luke starts talking about bike safety and clipless pedals I see something out of the corner of my eye. It’s Marc! And he’s looking for me! I can’t go to work NOW! The lesson is just about to start!
Thinking fast, I jump on one of Luke’s bikes: “You never forget how to ride a bike, right? Let’s go!”
“Wait…” is all Luke can manage before I am off down New York Street.

NY Street

Something is wrong. My foot feels weird on my pedal.

I stop somewhere near our parking garage, which we call “Zorro.”

Stopping at Zorro

Marc is nowhere to be seen. Good. “My pedals are broken.” I point out.

“They’re clipless pedals. I was trying to explain.” Luke tells me, pulling up next to me. He wipes sweat from his forehead.
“I’ll bet you wish we had those waters now,” I say under my breath.
“Actually I’m good.” Luke says.
I hear it before I see it: “JOHN!”
Marc speeds towards us:

Marc's car

“John!” He yells again.
I jump on the bike: “Luke! I’ll race ya around the lot!” And I’m off.
Here’s a piece of advice. If someone is as good at biking as Luke is, don’t challenge them to a race.
YOU. WILL. LOSE.
Luke was gone in a blur and in the time it took me to finish one lap of the lot, Luke passed me twice. Once in a parking lot:

7 dwarves

And again near “The Mill” where the sets are constructed:

The mill

As we approached the B&S home at Stages 6 and 7, Luke passed me one final time, finishing with a triumphant jump over a speed bump.

Luke bike-jumps

I start pedaling harder to try and get enough speed for my jump. But my feet kept slipping off of the pedals and…well…the speed bump did what it was supposed to do. CRASH! The bike stopped in its tracks and I went flying over the handlebars:

John flying

“That looked like it hurt.” Marc says coolly, relishing his moment:

Marc relishes

“Ready to go back to work now?”
I try to sound cheery even though I can’t feel my legs. “Sure.”
Marc stands, heading inside. “See you upstairs.”
Luke walks over and helps me up.
“Hey don’t get discouraged. Just get out there again – on your own bike next time – and you’ll improve. You have to.”
“I guess so…” I mumble.
“Well, you certainly can’t get any worse.“
“I’ll just stick to running.” I say, “I think for me mountain biking will just be an uphill struggle.”
Luke thinks for a moment: “You know when I’m biking, I like nothing more than going up a hill.”
“You’re mental.” I mutter.
Luke starts walking away. “Maybe. But you know why we work so hard going uphill? So that we get to enjoy the downhill. Oh and you should always wear a helmet. Later, dude.”

Luke waves goodbye

I look at the scratches on my arms, legs and ego and realize you know, he’s probably right.

A very special thanks to Luke Macfarlane, Johnny Foam, Melina Root, Marc Halsey and Sparkey Hawes for making this blog happen.